Marriage

Studies in the Book of Genesis #8

Marriage is God’s Idea

Gen 2:18-25

3. I’m praying that you will hear these basic truths as though for the first time tonight and that they will be new and fresh

b. He believed that there was a real Adam and a real garden of Eden and a real woman named Eve – Matt 19:4-6

d. Adam and Eve are real history just as real as the conquests of Alexander the Great, the rise and fall of the Roman empire, the American Revolution and World War II.

I. The Need of a Spouse – vs 18-20

· Women are needed by man to help men. It is not the woman's career but the man's career that has the priority.

A. God Recognized the Problem – vs 18

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

1. Notice first of all that there was a problem

2. The first need of man mentioned was his need of a companion.

3. So far, everything had been good – 1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31

4. But in 2:18 God said something was not good

5. It was not good that man should be alone

6. God created Eve after Adam so that Adam would recognize his need for her

B. Adam Recognized the Problem – vs 19-20

1. Why was Adam given the task of naming the animals?

a) Naming animals showed Adam’s dominion over them

b) Naming animals, Adam would realize that he was alone

c) The animals passed by him 2x2, each animal had a mate, but Adam had no companion – there was a Mr. and Mrs Lion, giraffe, etc, but there is no Mrs. Adam

2. There were not as many species in the various kinds like today

3. God’s purpose for man could not be fulfilled without woman

4. The giving of all the names emphasizes the work load of Adam and also the intelligence of man in his innocent state.

5. Today we struggle in biology class to remember of few names. Adam knew them all!

C. Three Purposes for Marriage

1. Companionship

a) God created man to need the companionship of a wife

b) Go to most any single adult and ask them what their greatest problem is and they will probably say it is loneliness

c) There is to be a depth to the husband-wife relationship that is like no other relationship on earth

d) With each passing year that companionship should be getting deeper and deeper

2. Completion

a) God’s plan for marriage was that there be completion

b) Man needed a helper to complete him

c) Help or helper in vs 18 does not mean the same thing in Hebrew as it does in English

(1) Helper – one that helps, a relatively unskilled worker who assists a skilled worker usually by manual labor

(2) This verse is not saying that the wife is only to be a domestic helper who does Adam’s dishes and laundry etc

d) Being a helper is not demeaning, after all, God is a helper ß

e) A helper supplies what is lacking in another and completes the person needing the help

3. Children

a) God’s plan was that there be children and that requires a man and woman

b) Mal 2:14b … she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed…

c) God’s plan was that a godly husband and wife would raise up godly children

d) God sometimes withholds children in a marriage

II. The Nap for the Spouse – vs 22

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

1. God operated on Adam to make a woman.

2. Like operations today, God put Adam to sleep in order to do the operation.

3. The "nap for the spouse" was the nap Adam had to accommodate the making of the spouse.

4. God formed man from the dust of the ground, but He formed woman from the man

5. Matthew Henry said it poetically…

6. God’s provision for Adam’s need was perfect in every way – God provided a helper meet for him

III. The Nature for the Spouse – vs 22-23

A. The Presentation of the Woman – vs 22

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

1. The rib was the part taken to make woman.

2. Thus she has same nature as man; for Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23).

3. She is not an inferior being.

4. Her status is subservient to man.

5. But that does not make her an inferior being anymore than rank in the military makes one person a superior human to a person of lower rank.

6. Woman was made from the ribs not the head (to be over man) or the foot (to be trampled on by man). But she was made from the ribs to be loved and honored by man. "Husbands, love your wives" (Colossians 3:19). "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel [not inferior vessel], as being heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7).

7. He’d be the CEO and you’d be the gas station manager ß

B. The Naming of the Spouse – vs 23

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

1. The term "Woman" expresses "a fundamental similarity by the use of the best terms available" (Leupold).

2. They are similar (both of the human race) but different, for they are male and female.

3. Unisex Bibles are fraudulent.

4. God made both male and female.

5. Later the name of this first woman became "Eve" (Genesis 3:20).

IV. The Nuptials for the Spouse – vs 24

A. The Law of Priority – vs 24a

1. Other Than Marriage, The Most Important Human Relationship is the Parent / Child Relationship

a) When God used the word “leave” he did not intend for either spouse to abandon or abuse their parents

b) This would contradict clear scripture

(1) Ex 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

(2) Mt 15:4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

c) Our responsibility to honor our parents lasts a lifetime

2. After Parent/ Child, the Most Important Human Relationship is the Husband / Wife Relationship

a) When God brought A+E together, He intended their relationship to be more important than any other human relationship

b) When man and woman were married they were to relinquish the highest position of commitment and devotion previously given to parents in order to give that position to the spouse.

c) No relationship should be allowed to come between the husband and wife relationship

(1) Business and career should have a lesser priority

(2) House, hobbies and interests should have a lesser priority

(3) Even church work should have a lesser priority (not the Lord)

d) The wife of a successful businessman wept as she told her pastor, “He keeps giving me monetary rewards, and every time he does it I think how much better it would be to have his time, attention and love.”

e) If a man consistently puts career and business ahead of his wife and marriage, nothing he can buy will really please her.

B. The Law of Pursuit – vs 24b

1. Cleave

a) Cleave = pursue with great energy /to cling closely to something

b) We loosen other relationships in order to permanently stick to our spouse - This takes work

2. Marriage only works, when we work at it

a) It is a common misconception to think, “If I can only marry the right person then I won’t have to work at having a successful marriage, it will just happen.”

b) According to God’s plan we are to work as hard at keeping our mate as we did in gaining them

c) When either the husband or the wife begins to take the spouse for granted then the relationship begins to suffer

d) Wife with altzheimer ß

C. The Law of Possession – vs 24c

1. Marriage is a Complete Union

a) This is more than just a reference to sexual union

b) All things previously owned and managed individually are to become owned and managed jointly.

c) True intimacy is created when two people so intertwine their lives with one another that one cannot determine where one life ends and the other begins.

2. Elementary Requirements for this Oneness

a) The marriage must be monogamous

(1) This rules out all adultery and promiscuity

(2) Two shall become one (not three etc)

(3) The grass on the other side of the fence may start off green, but it usually ends up brown. Seventy-five to 85 percent of all men who have had an affair end up staying with or returning to their wives. Of those who do divorce, only 15 percent marry the woman with whom they had the marriage-wrecking affair. Affairs are destructive and do not deliver what they seem to promise.

b) The marriage must be heterosexual

(1) God made one woman for one man

A successful CEO had the opportunity to go to his wife's hometown and meeting her high school boyfriend. The CEO couldn't wait to see what kind of guy his wife dated in school. As it turned out, her old flame had become the night manager of a gas station. After they met, the CEO could hardly wait to get back in the car and hear his wife's reaction. "Well, what did you think?' he asked. She said, "Nothing much." After a long silence he couldn't contain himself. "Honey, aren't you glad you're married to the CEO of a successful company instead of a manager at a gas station?" She responded as only a wife can. "Get this straight. If I'd married Billy Bob, he'd be the CEO of a successful company, and you would be managing a gas station."